


In War, Victory

by adelaide_rain



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Grey Warden Kaidan, M/M, Mages and Templars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-15 14:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11232816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelaide_rain/pseuds/adelaide_rain
Summary: As the Mage-Templar War hits Ferelden's shores, Kaidan confesses his feelings to Ser Shepard.==A Mass Effect/Dragon Age fusion fic.





	1. Chapter 1

The sky is dark with purplish clouds, and as Kaidan makes his way through the city of Amaranthine, he casts a wary eye up at them. A storm on the way, he guesses, and a bad one. With a frown, he hopes he can make it back to Vigil's Keep before it lets loose its fury.

He could stay safe within the city walls for the night, but he and Ser Shepard have made plans to drink ale and talk, and Kaidan is reluctant to let Shepard down. He is a good friend, but lately - lately Kaidan has been wanting more. No; that's not the whole truth. He's wanted more since the moment he first saw Shepard, eight months ago when Kaidan first arrived in Amaranthine. But lately, with the troubles between Templars and mages reaching a crescendo in Kirkwall, with the war threatening to spill over the Waking Sea, all the reasons not to tell him seem foolish.

_Tonight. I'll tell him tonight._

Kaidan quickens his step as he heads for the city gates. He came to meet the Grey Wardens newly stationed here; Arl Anderson asked for them to shore up the city guard. With the troubles in Kirkwall, it's a wise move.

As senior Warden, Kaidan chose carefully. Seasoned warriors, knights before they were Wardens. Not mages, but sympathetic to their cause. If and when the fighting reaches Ferelden, Kaidan, as a mage, knows where he will stand.

The Wardens are stoic and ready to fight, already settling in amongst the city guard. Perhaps in normal times, the guard might be affronted by the suggestion that they need help, but the stories coming out of the Free Marches of horrors inflicted by both sides of the conflict have them worried.

Rightly so, Kaidan thinks as he crosses the marketplace, steps slowing as he sees a knot of four Templars in full plate armour.

One of them sees him approach, and puts a hand to his sword, nudging the others. Kaidan comes to a stop, but he doesn't reach for his staff, not yet. His grey-and-blue Warden's coat makes it clear who and what he is; the Templars have no authority over him, something they can see at a glance.

Still; something makes Kaidan wary. It's in their stance, the way all four turn to look at him. And something else. He can't put his finger on what but something is _wrong_ with these Templars. It's more than just a feeling but nothing he can put into words.

They look at him with unwarranted fury, and the frontmost one, a tall woman with pale hair, steps towards him with a hand on the hilt of her sword and contempt in her eyes.

"Good evening," Kaidan says with a nod of the head.

"Mage," she snarls.

"Grey Warden," Kaidan corrects, and his hand flexes, wanting to reach for his staff. People in the marketplace have started to back away from them; you don't need a Warden's perception to sense the danger brewing here.

She steps closer. Kaidan almost steps back, the small part of him still terrified of the beatings from Vyrnnus back in Kinloch Hold telling him to run, run. Other, newer parts too, wariness from years of being an apostate, fears of being found out, of being tracked down. Then there is that weirdness, that wrongness emanating from them. But he is a Grey Warden, and he will not bow to an arrogant Templar's clumsy threats, and he stays where he is.

"This is how it starts," she says, and he recognises her accent - she's from the Marches, possibly even Kirkwall itself. Tightening his jaw, he realises there is little chance he'll get out of this without a fight. "Tempt them with the promise of freedom and the mages grasp it with greedy hands. But they cannot be trusted - demons whisper to them night and day, and even the strongest cannot resist forever. Circles are necessary for the safety of all." Her voice rises now, preaching as much as threatening; no one seems interested in her message though, as much as the potential show.

Kaidan takes a moment to breathe until he feels ready to respond calmly. "There are many mages in the ranks of the Wardens across Thedas, free of the Circles. None of us have succumbed to demons."

"As if you'd admit it," the Templar says. "So proud - you think you're above the law."

"I am. We are."

Her eyes narrow, and Kaidan has a split second to realise that was exactly the wrong thing to say before she draws her sword.

He does step back now, startled at her response. Her eyes seem to flash red as she points her sword at him. "You challenge the Chantry's authority?"

"I challenge _your_ authority here," he says, then ducks out of the way as she attacks. The three other Templars look at each other, conflicted - they see the attacker's folly, Kaidan thinks, hopes, and as he backpeddles he draws his staff and turns to them.

"I have done nothing wrong," he says. "And as a Warden you have no authority over me!"

The woman's sword swings at him and he brings his staff up to deflect it. His heart races - he doesn't understand why she fights him. But there's that flash of red again as she snarls at him. Not bespelled, he thinks - it's impossible to bespell a Templar. But there's _something_ acting on her mind.

Another swing and she almost hits a bystander, who leaps out of the way with a cry, and Kaidan clenches his jaw. If the other Templars will not act to stop her, then he must.

He casts a force spell to push her back from the crowd,. As she staggers back, she turns to glare at her fellow Templars.

"He uses magic against us!" She cries. "In open defiance! We must _stop_ him."

The Templars have their heads cocked as if listening, but Kaidan isn't sure they're listening to her words. Their eyes are glowing red too, he realises, fighting something that feels like panic or nausea. This - this spell that isn't a spell, a drug, maybe; they're all affected by it, not as strongly perhaps, but it's working on them too, whispering in their minds.

Casting Barrier on himself, he steps forward.

"I protected myself, that's all," he says. "Whatever is going on here - whatever is affecting your minds-"

A flash of movement and something slams into him. Pain, shock, and he falls back, hitting the ground hard as his staff skitters away. He gasps for breath, head throbbing as he pushes himself to hands and knees, heart racing. Whatever it was, if it hadn't been for his Barrier he'd be dead.

 _Warhammer,_ he thinks, seeing the Templar start to swing it again, and lifts a hand, uses a spell to throw him across the marketplace.

"I told you," the woman says, smug victory in her voice, and before Kaidan can move, she Denies his magic.

Panic screams through Kaidan as his connection to the Fade is severed. It's like he's been blinded, and for a moment he can't breathe - but then the woman swings at him with her sword and he rolls away, instincts borne from years of battle kicking into gear. He grabs a sword from a stall, hearing _hey!_ from the merchant, and brings it up to protect himself.

The Wardens taught him to fight with a blade, and in his time at Vigil's Keep, Shepard has been keeping his skills sharp with daily training. Kaidan manages to meet the Templar's furious strikes-

But then one of the others flanks him, and he darts away but not quickly enough. Their dagger glances off his forehead, and a flash of pain is quickly followed by being blinded by his own blood. Kaidan drags a glove across his eyes so he can see and slams his hilt into the side of the Templar's head. They go down hard, but Kaidan isn't sure he's far behind. His face and head are throbbing from the warhammer attack, the blood is in his eyes again, and the woman is bringing her sword up for another attack.

"Stand down!" Someone yells, and the woman glares up at someone behind him. "Back away from him _now_ before I skewer you with a flaming arrow!"

"He is a mage, a danger to all!"

"You struck first!" One of the citizens says, and another joins her.

 _Yeah! That's right,_ a few others chime in with agreement

"He was trying to talk to you and you struck him! Mage or no, Ser Kaidan is a good man."

"And a Warden," says the first speaker, and as they come to stand by Kaidan's side, he sees it is his fellow Wardens, all six of them. "You are strangers here. Do you think King Alistair will look kindly upon you attacking one of his Order without provocation?"

The last Templar - the one who has not yet moved, takes a tentative step forward.

"Alyssa - he is right. You - we should not have done this."

Alyssa's eyes narrow, but she sheathes her sword, grabs the arm of the one who got a face full of Kaidan's hilt and drags him to his feet.

"Get Ormond," she says, and the Templar trots to the one who Kaidan blasted. "We are leaving."

"Ser Kaidan?" The nearest Warden asks, helping him to his feet. "Should we let them go?"

With his head throbbing and vision going grey, it's hard to think, but Kaidan knows this: the world is a tinderbox and everything is about to go up in smoke. He won't fan the fires.

"Let them go."

They help him back to the guard house where they've made their temporary home, to clean and bandage his wound, give him a restorative potion.

"Ser Kaidan," a Warden named Gervanna says softly. "I am sorry we didn't arrive to protect you sooner."

"Don't blame yourself," Kaidan says, swallowing. The restorative potion helped, a little, but pain and dizziness still assault him. Taking a breath, he forces himself to his feet and puts a hand to the wall in an effort not to immediately slump back down. "I need to get back to the Keep."

"I'll come with you," Gervanna says immediately, then waves away his refusal. "You can barely stand, Ser. The guards will lend us horses, and the other Wardens will be here if needed."

"Fine. I need to talk to Arl Anderson and Ser Shepard. What started in Kirkwall has reached our shores. We need to be prepared."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote [this ficlet](http://raininginadelaide.tumblr.com/post/161858797725/raininginadelaide-i-had-too-much-fun-with-this), which led to [this manip](http://raininginadelaide.tumblr.com/post/161860930910/i-took-a-break-from-editing-to-make-a-quick-manip) and now this fic - I think you could say I'm enamoured of this fusion verse.


	2. Chapter 2

The rain starts to fall as Kaidan and Gervanna ride to Vigil's Keep.

It's a typical Fereldan downpour. No gentle shower, no easing into it; just dark skies and then a sheet of water, bouncing on the road around them, soaking them to their skin in moments. There's a rumble of thunder, too, and Kaidan pats his mount's neck comfortingly as she gives a nervous whinny. Gervanna looks nervous too, sitting bolt upright and looking around with suspicion in her eyes.

"Is everything alright?" Kaidan asks, and she stares at him.

"Of course not, Ser! Those templars attacked you, right in the middle of the marketplace. That they felt entitled to do that in front of everybody-"

"If I wasn't a Warden, they _would've_ been entitled," Kaidan says, head aching too much for subtlety. "If I was an apostate - as I once was - they would've been within their rights to bring me in, to kill me if I fought back."

Gervanna looks long at him, then squints straight ahead. "I've never believed in the Circles." She says it quietly, like the dangerous secret it is. "They say they're for our safety, but at what cost? My best friend as a child was a mage. They dragged her off to Kinloch Hold, and she was dead three years later. An accident, they said, but..."

"What was her name?"

"Hilda Rowan. It would've been well before your time, Ser."

Kaidan nods, but he knows the name. Poor little Hilda, the templars said; possessed by a demon, and the only cure was a templar's righteous blade. Such are the dangers of a mage's power, and such is the need for the Templar Order.

Poor little Hilda, the mages said, in hushed and whispered tones; struck by a templar when she dared to talk back, struck again and again and again until she never spoke ever again.

Kaidan knows which version he believes. He has scars still from being struck by Vyrnnus's gauntleted fist and worse, on his face and arms and back, and Vyrnnus's angry contempt for his charges was not as rare as the templars would have people believe.

"Still, though," Gervanna continues. "What happened in Kirkwall, blowing up a Chantry - that's wrong, too."

"Yes," Kaidan says, though the answer doesn't come as easily to him as that. He's thought long on everything that's happened, and his thoughts are still conflicted. The ones that died in the Chantry, that was wrong. The ones who died after, the mages who died in the fighting or gave into fear and demons, the civilians caught in the crossfire. All wrong.

But so was what happened in Kinloch Hold, to him, to Rahna and Hilda, and to Anders, too. So is what happens in the White Spire and the Gallows and all the Circles across Thedas, to apostates everywhere. Kaidan believes in justice and freedom, in doing what's right, and what is done to mages is _not_ right.

_There can be no peace._ Anders's words, rumour has it, and Kaidan can imagine him saying them, determined, defeated, taking the only path he sees left to him.

_There can be no peace,_ Kaidan thinks, a hand going to his bandaged head.

In the end, the only clear thought he has on the matter is this: he hates what Anders did, but it is done. They can only go forward, to face whatever comes of it.

As they crest a hill, through the curtain of rain they can see the thick walls of Vigil's Keep, and Kaidan lets forth a relieved sigh.

Although he can access his magic once more, it's hard to focus with his head pounding, and besides, with all the possible dangers of the journey, he judged it best to keep his energy for fighting, should it be needed.

But now home is near, and safety with it.

The guards at the gate salute him, though they see his injuries and frown.

"Ser Kaidan - are you alright?"

"I will be. Close the gates and be on the watch - I doubt the templars who attacked me will follow or assault the Keep, but best to be wary."

"Templars...? I- yes, ser, right away."

Gervanna rides with him into the courtyard, glancing up at the sky.

"Ser - could I stay here tonight? The weather looks like it's worsening, and dark has fallen early. It's an ill omen," she adds with a frown, and while Kaidan isn't sure about the superstition, he agrees with the rest.

"Of course," he says, as two figures run over.

One is a stable hand, looking up at their borrowed mounts with wide eyes, and another is Ser Shepard.

The sight of him makes Kaidan's heart beat a little more quickly, even with everything that's happened, and the concern on his face makes warmth spread through Kaidan's body, contrasting with the cold of his soaked-through clothes.

"Kaidan? What happened? Your face looks terrible."

"Thanks, Shepard, just what I like to hear."

Gervanna dismounts beside him, and as Kaidan starts to do the same, his aching body reminds him of just what he's been through, and he staggers as he hits the ground. Shepard catches him, and they stand, chest to chest, Shepard's arms supporting him. Kaidan's breath catches in his throat. This is the first time they've been this close, the first time he's had Shepard's arms around him. This, here and now, it doesn't mean what wishes it did, but when he meets Shepard's sea-grey eyes, sees the worry in them - perhaps it does, maybe it does.

"You know I like your face," Shepard says, very softly, and Kaidan stares at him as he touches the side of his face that isn't bruised; too quickly, Shepard pulls away as though he's suddenly realising what he's doing, what he's saying. "The blood and the bruises, not so much. Come, let us get you inside. What happened?"

He keeps a supportive arm around Kaidan's waist as they head into the Keep itself, and Kaidan is grateful; he's thought often about being close to Shepard like this, but those daydreams didn’t usually feataure pain and dizziness.

"He was attacked by templars, Ser," Gervanna says, and Shepard stares at her.

_"What?"_

"I don't know what happened, exactly; we only got there towards the end of it. Ser Kaidan seemed to be holding his own, though."

"Hardly," Kaidan says. "The templars saw that I was a mage and attacked. One with a sword, another with a war hammer, and one with daggers. One held back, but whether that was from honour or cowardice I couldn't say."

Shepard calls to the group of pages skulking near the doorway, tells them to bring hot water and the healer up to Kaidan's chambers. They scurry away, and Kaidan continues his story.

"I did nothing to provoke them, I'm dressed in Wardens colours and said as much. But they were - I don't know. Drugged, perhaps. Something wasn't right about them. And I swear - their eyes glowed red."

"Where are they now?"

"Ser Kaidan told us to let them go," Gervanna says, and Kaidan doesn't miss the note of disapproval in her voice. When Shepard speaks again, there's a lot more than just a note of it in his.

"What?! What were you thinking?"

Kaidan stops and frowns at him, trying to ignore the way everything is spinning. "That the world has always been against mages, and if the fighting in the Marches spreads, things will only get worse. There are those in the Templar Order and the Chantry that would take any excuse to come down hard on us - to invoke the Right of Annulment or even an Exalted March. I will _not_ be responsible for fanning those flames."

"And if the templars that hurt you - you, who are trained as a battlemage and as a warrior - go against a hedge witch whose only magic is healing?"

Kaidan looks away, and guilt is sour in his mouth. "I know, dammit. I know. But we're on the brink of war, Shepard."

"I know," Shepard says softly, and his hand on Kaidan's waist gives a gentle squeeze. He looks to Gervanna. "Go to Arl Anderson and tell him what we've said here. No doubt he'll want to speak to those Templars himself."

"Yes, Ser," Gervanna says with a nod, and heads off to the Throne Room.

Kaidan and Shepard continue onto his chambers, Shepard's arm still around Kaidan's waist. They don't speak, and Kaidan feels a quiver of anxiety - he knows he made the right choice, the only choice he could, but he knows Shepard is right as well. Nothing is simple, and his head is hurting too much already.

"I cannot say I would've made the same choice," Shepard says quietly. "But my actions wouldn't have had the same repercussions as yours. I'm no mage; whatever I did wouldn't have affected mages elsewhere."

"Who knows, these days," Kaidan says as they reach his chambers, and Shepard sighs.

"Indeed."

Kaidan's chambers are fairly large, in respect of his position as Senior Warden. A living space with a desk piled high with letters and reports; a large sofa with plush cushions; wide windows looking out on the rain-soaked courtyard. Shepard leads him over to the sofa and Kaidan sits down heavily just as there's a knock at the door.

Shepard goes to answer it, and when he returns he has Chakwas by his side. She's the Keep's healer, an older woman with no-nonsense tunic and breeches, and a small wooden chest in her hands. She’s not a mage, but with skills like hers she doesn't need magic. One of the pages has brought up a bowl of warm water and at her instruction, he leaves it on the table beside the sofa. The page is dismissed but Shepard remains, standing behind Chakwas with folded arms, frowning as she undoes the bandage. The bleeding starts once more, and Kaidan closes his eyes as she cleans the wound. Once she's done she applies a strongly herbal paste that binds the edges of the wound together.

"What caused the injuries?" She asks, sitting back to examine him.

"A war hammer, and a dagger."

"A war hammer?" She says, sounding slightly horrified as her eyes trace the bruise almost certainly spreading over the side of his face.

"I had a barrier spell protecting me. If I hadn't-" Kaidan shrugs, and Shepard's frown grows deeper.

"Why didn't you use a healing spell?"

"A templar cut me off from my magic," Kaidan says and her lips thin. "After it wore off, I thought it best to conserve what strength I had."

Shepard curses, and Kaidan realises he's left that out of his report.

"They denied your magic and attacked anyway?" He asks, with an angry, dangerous note in his voice.

"As I said - they seemed drugged. I'm no fan of templars but these definitely seemed to have something working on their minds."

"These are dark times," Chakwas says as she pulls another salve from her kit, tilting Kaidan's head so that she can spread it over the bruises. Her touch is light but it hurts enough that he winces and pulls back. After a moment of consideration, she hands him a vial. "Drink this - it'll numb the pain but it'll also make you sleepy. I assume you're not planning on getting into another fight in the next day or so?"

"I'll stay with him," Shepard says immediately.

"Nothing's going to happen in the Keep-"

"I don't care, Kaidan. I - I need to know you're safe."

Kaidan stares up at him, and Shepard looks back, stubborn as ever, and worried, too. Kaidan would be lying if he said that wasn't at least a little touching. As he drinks the potion and feels lethargic in moments, he's glad of Shepard's protective streak. If anything _did_ happen, he'd be in no state to fight.

Numbness comes with the lethargy, and as Chakwas applies the salve, the pain is little more than a slight annoyance. By the time she's finished, Kaidan's eyelids are heavy, and it's a struggle to keep them open.

"Alright," Chakwas says, standing. "I've done what I can. I recommend that you get him to bed, Shepard, and I'll check on him tomorrow. If he worsens in any way, call for me immediately."

"I will, Chakwas. Thank you."

Kaidan also thanks her, though it's interrupted by a yawn. She smiles and nods, picking up her kit as she leaves.

"Alright, to bed with you," Shepard says, and how nice those words might be in other circumstances. "Healer's orders."

Shepard pulls him gently to his feet, and leads him to the bedroom. Kaidan lets him - he can do little else, his body feels heavy and unresponsive. When Shepard leads him to the bed, he pushes Kaidan down to sit, then pauses before kneeling to remove Kaidan's boots for him, then his jacket.

"We, uh; we should get you out of those wet things," he says, sounding uncertain, and Kaidan tries not to sigh. This is not at all how he was hoping to have Shepard undress him.

"There are towels and a robe in the cupboard," Kaidan says with a tongue that feels heavy. Shepard goes, and when he returns, he helps Kaidan peel off the soaked-through shirt and breeches, dropping them in a wet pile before pausing and trying to pretend he's not staring at Kaidan's mostly naked body. "I'm sorry," he says, looking away, blushing as he starts to carefully dry Kaidan's skin and hair.

"Don't be," Kaidan says, and Shepard pauses, looking up at him. Their gazes meet and they hold each other’s eyes for a long moment before Shepard looks away to concentrate on what he's doing.

Once Kaidan is dry, Shepard hands him the robe, and Kaidan stands, just for a moment so he can shrug it on, then uses the privacy of the robe to pull off his wet underthings, dropping it on the pile with the rest of the clothes. Shepard blushes bright red, a delightful sight, and Kaidan gives him a tired smile before sitting back on the bed, leaning against the pillows and pulling a blanket over him.

"This," Kaidan starts, too tired for nerves, "Is not how I thought i would be mostly naked in front of you."

Shepard starts, then looks at him. "You - had thought about that?"

Taking a breath, Kaidan looks at him. "Have you not?"

They look at each other, then Shepard sits on the edge of Kaidan's bed, looking down at him. With a smile he says, "Once or twice, perhaps," and runs a hand down Kaidan's forearm, pausing to rest on his hand. He looks up, nervous, until Kaidan turns his palm up, and they are holding hands. A silly little thing, perhaps, but it pleases Kaidan's tired self.

"I was planning to talk to you tonight," Shepard says. "About - how I feel."

"How is that?"

"I care about you. A lot," Shepard says, and Kaidan's heart feels light and lovely, joy rushing over him and smothering all his hurts. Shepard feels as he does - something hoped for, but Kaidan's been rejected before, as a man and as a mage, enough to make him cautious, almost enough to make him give up hope. But now, this happiness - it makes Kaidan feel dizzy in an entirely different way than his wounds, and he smiles, feeling lucky, so lucky. Shepard lifts a hand to Kaidan's unbruised cheek. He looks into Kaidan's eyes, then away with a soft smile. "But I shouldn't put this on you while you're recovering," he says, and starts to pull his hand away, but Kaidan grabs it, keeps it where it is.

"I care about you," he says. "And I was going to tell you tonight, too."

"So we both have terrible timing, then," Shepard says, and Kaidan smiles, crooked since he can barely move half his face. Shepard frowns, and runs his thumb over Kaidan's eyebrow, pausing over the little trio of freckles. "When you're feeling better, we'll talk about this. For now, rest. I'll stay on your sofa tonight. If you need me, just call."

"You don't have to-"

"I know. But I want to. Sleep, Kaidan." After a moment, he lifts Kaidan's hand and kisses the back of it. "Heal. We'll talk about this later."

"Yes," Kaidan says, and as he watches Shepard leave the room, he lets sleep claim him; when it does, he has a smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really busy this last week so I was worried I wouldn't get this finished, but I'm glad I did. I had to have a good think about how Kaidan would feel about the plight of the mages in Thedas - I did a [post about it on tumblr](http://raininginadelaide.tumblr.com/post/162021181680/so-last-night-i-was-writing-the-next-chapter-of-in) if you're interested :)
> 
> And of course, thank you so much for reading! <3


End file.
